One thing at a time...

One foot in front of the other, one day at a time. Minute by minute, hour by hour. This has taken on new meaning for me in the past two and a half weeks. I never thought I was one to live outside of the present, and that living for today (and not what may come tomorrow) was important, but I'm not sure that I really understood.

There is a new consciousness to every minute I'm awake. My mind moves constantly, I'm aware of every breath. Every minute that ticks by is one farther away from Christian's life here on earth. I feel as if I'm trying to hold on to the minutes so they don't slip by so fast, but like a handful of sand those minutes run through my fingers. Right here, right now is as close to him as I'll ever be. And yet, even as I write this I know that these thoughts are only partly true.

Time here on earth marches on and I feel as if I'm losing touch already, and that is a whole other kind of grieving. My sister-in-law posted a video of Christian and I watch that many times a day so my ears remember the sound of his teasing and so I see the mischievous glint in his eyes. He was so full of life...

No, he IS so full of life. I know, because of the faith that we shared, that my brother is rejoicing with his Heavenly Father. I know that for the one who committed his life to the Lord, "to be absent from the body, is to be present with the Lord." I know that Christian is living as he was created to live, in the presence of his Savior, Jesus Christ. I know that I will see him again some day because I have put my faith and trust in the redemptive work of Jesus Christ on the cross and in his resurrection.