Forever

You know, I'm not sure how people do this grieving thing without faith in a good God.

Every single day is a new realization of absence and being faced with the reality that Christian is not here and won't be.

When I was little and we were learning about heaven and eternity in Sunday School I remember getting so frustrated that I couldn't understand what forever actually meant. My brain would think about a long, long time, but there was always an end. Then I would start over from that point and try again only to be met by that same end. I've come to accept that my mind is a finite thing and eternity is infinite so there is no earthly way to truly understand what eternity is.

I sort of feel like I'm six again, trying to understand forever and just not getting it. True, I only have to think about life here on earth without Christian, but it kind of feels like eternity. He isn't here, he can't be here, and he won't be here. Once again, I find my mind thinking about not being able to see Christian for a really long time, and then my mind wants to put an end to it. Kind of like, maybe after that really long time I'll be able to hang out with him again. All of this thought seems firmly rooted in the temporal...the here and now.

The "here and now" is a consuming place to be. I get wrapped up in every minute of the day. I've said this recently, but I feel as if there is a new awareness to each minute, each passing breath, that is how "in the moment" I feel. But in order to feel hopeful I am forcing myself to remember eternity, remember that my loss is temporary (no matter how awful it is right now).

I WILL see Christian again someday. I say this with every confidence. The reason that Christian was a great man (at 31 years old) is Christ living in him. Christian understood and was learning more and more the truth that he was living for eternity and to give all glory to his Creator God!

Arlington

It was a sunny morning...I'd hoped it would be cloudy and grey, and the weather ended up cooperating with me. By the time we drove into Arlington National Cemetery the sky was overcast and the air was heavy. Our family, loaded in two long black limos, followed the Army band, the hearse, and eight soldiers marching as pallbearers. Behind us was a long row of cars and six Harley-Davidsons carrying the Patriot Guard brought up the rear.

The screeching cry of a hawk greeted us as we exited the cars. It dove down and landed on a branch just above us as we walked through the long rows of white headstones towards the grave where Christian's body would be buried. That hawk echoed the cry that my heart has been screaming for the past five weeks.

The band played "America the Beautiful," the pallbearers folded the flag, the chaplain said "ashes to ashes...dust to dust," we sang the doxology:

"Praise God from whom all blessings flow,
praise him all creatures here below,
praise him above, ye heavenly host,
praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Amen.

Four Blackhawk UH-60 helicopters, the same kind of aircraft that Christian died flying, flew over low, in tight formation in respect for the service that Christian gave as an officer, pilot, and soldier in the United States Army. Tears flowed down my cheeks. I know that Christian loved to fly! What a fitting tribute. If we had to do this thing, bury Christian, this is how it should have been done.

The Secretary of the Army Pete Geren, Wisconsin Congressman Paul Ryan, Major General Rowe representing General Casey (Chief of Staff) came to offer condolences. There were many of Christian's fellow soldiers; from his cadet days in ROTC at Wheaton College, from Korea, from rugby, from Ft. Rucker, AL, from Aviano, Italy. Washington DC was far from our hometown, but so many people showed up. What a testimony to the effect that Christian had in every area of his life.

Funeral

Yesterday shouldn't have had to happen. All day on Thursday and Friday I kept thinking how I didn't want to see all these people I love here in Racine, I didn't want them to be here...not for this. How about a wedding, graduation, or a landmark anniversary, but a funeral? For my big brother? That can't really be happening. There were services in Italy already, but this memorial service here in Racine at our home church in his home town seems so final.

As phone calls and emails drifted in about all the family and friends that were coming for the service my mind kept wandering to the thoughts that Christian would have loved all this! Any excuse to be with the people he loved was an excuse for a party. I looked around and saw more extended family together than any wedding has brought, friends of Christian's from all corners of the United States, people who grew up with Christian, or just loved our family. In that moment I felt the support of all of the hours and hours of prayer that have been lifted up for our families.

All of the best things about Christian were talked about at the service, and I was thinking about how at funerals everybody always gives glowing reviews of the person who died. The thing is, from my perspective, as somebody who knew Christian for my whole life, it was all true. That was really, truly the person that Christian was! Good, kind, fun, goofy, generous, loving, adventurous, fun, loving, tender, but just so alive. It seemed that every minute we spent together was to the fullest, whether it was chatting on the phone, riding the motorcycle, travelling, playing games, watching movies. Makes it so hard that he is dead. I hate saying it, but if I don't I won't really believe it.

I wish more than anything that I could hear him say "Give everyone a hug for me" even one more time. This is so hard. I truly know what it means to physically hurt because of the sorrow. I never knew I had so many tears.

Still somehow, because of God's grace I'm sure, I am still praising the Lord that Christian is more alive than he ever was here. Christian is free. Again because of God's grace I know that He is Good, and His love endures forever.

Services

For those of you who are interested or wondering about funeral/memorial services for my brother, Black Hawk pilot, CPT Christian Skoglund here are the details:

Memorial Service:

Saturday, December 8, 2007 @ 2:00pm
Racine Bible Church
12505 Spring Street
Sturtevant, WI 53177

Funeral:

Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Visitation & Service @ 6:00-8:00pm
Murphy's Funeral Home in Arlington, VA

Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Burial Service @ 11:00am
Arlington National Cemetery

If anybody has any questions, please don't hesitate to ask. We want these services to be a celebration of Christian's life and faith and all are welcome to attend. Thanks to all for your prayers and support during this hard time.

Because of the Lord's faithfulness,

Maja Kay Skoglund

One thing at a time...

One foot in front of the other, one day at a time. Minute by minute, hour by hour. This has taken on new meaning for me in the past two and a half weeks. I never thought I was one to live outside of the present, and that living for today (and not what may come tomorrow) was important, but I'm not sure that I really understood.

There is a new consciousness to every minute I'm awake. My mind moves constantly, I'm aware of every breath. Every minute that ticks by is one farther away from Christian's life here on earth. I feel as if I'm trying to hold on to the minutes so they don't slip by so fast, but like a handful of sand those minutes run through my fingers. Right here, right now is as close to him as I'll ever be. And yet, even as I write this I know that these thoughts are only partly true.

Time here on earth marches on and I feel as if I'm losing touch already, and that is a whole other kind of grieving. My sister-in-law posted a video of Christian and I watch that many times a day so my ears remember the sound of his teasing and so I see the mischievous glint in his eyes. He was so full of life...

No, he IS so full of life. I know, because of the faith that we shared, that my brother is rejoicing with his Heavenly Father. I know that for the one who committed his life to the Lord, "to be absent from the body, is to be present with the Lord." I know that Christian is living as he was created to live, in the presence of his Savior, Jesus Christ. I know that I will see him again some day because I have put my faith and trust in the redemptive work of Jesus Christ on the cross and in his resurrection.

Coming Home

I've been up since quarter after four. I think it must be jet-lag, or maybe I stayed in bed too long yesterday, or maybe my mind has too much to think about. Its going to be a gray day, I think. We came back from Italy to a dusting of snow on the cars and the lawn with splotches of white. I finally made it back to the apartment on Friday night.

A stack of cards on my bed, dropped off or mailed from friends remind me why I've been gone for two weeks. As if I needed reminding. Remnants of the make-shift bed I'd made on the couch the night before Christian died bring back the flood of emotions from November 7 and 8. It was the best and then the worst days of my life juxtaposed against one another.

On Wednesday we welcomed Alissa and Isaac's little boy, 9lbs 4oz, healthy and hearty with a full head of dark hair. Seriously, that had to be one of the best days of my life. Seeing Alissa, who in so many ways is my sister, have this baby was amazing. I stood outside the door and prayed for the safe delivery while Alissa pushed and I heard the team inside say "One more and you're finished" and then the first cry brought tears of joy to my eyes. I loved the little boy and I hadn't even seen him yet.

"There's been a crash in Italy." That greeted me on Thursday morning...the very next morning. I can't even explain the panic, but I held on to the shred of hope that this was Christian, he would make it. My prayer on the drive home was only "Lord, let him be ok," over and over and over. Then the call that he was alive, but critical, followed shortly by the news of his death. There is no way to be prepared for that kind of phone call.

We all, Elizabeth, my mom and dad, my brothers and I, the Nordberg family, extended family, are staring at the face of a seemingly impossible job. Learning to live without Christian. The constant reminder that it will never be the same comes at every turn. Its a big hole to fill, I'm sure it won't ever feel okay or right, only less painful. I know I've said it already, but I have a Hope in my Heavenly Father that Christian is rejoicing with in the realization of his salvation! I will see him again someday and then I will never have to say good-bye again! This sorrow is only for this night and joy will come in the morning.

The Eulogy

This is the eulogy that my dad gave at the memorial service on Aviano Air Force Base. I'm not sure how he did it, but his voice was strong and clear, given strength, I'm sure, by the Holy Spirit. It was a testimony of Christian's faith and life and I am SURE that there will be somebody whose heart will be changed because of the life that Christian led. So, for those of you who have not seen this in one of the many places that it has been posted, or did not hear it...

When Captain Skoglund was born on August 2, 1976, we named him Christian. That was our highest hope for him – that he would become one of Christ’s men. We have watched that happen to a greater and greater degree as the years have passed.

Christian loved what God loves – His amazing creation - the earth, the sky, the awesome experience of mountains and water; but even more – he has loved and enjoyed the people the Lord has brought into his life. My wife Kay and I and his three siblings – Maja, Erik and Lars, his wife Liz, and many, many friends and family, have enjoyed him for 31 years. He has brought incredible warmth and always unpredictable excitement to our life in lots and lots and lots of ways. The last, and best of all, was this time in Italy with his wonderful wife Liz as they loved life and each other for these last 16 months.

We are very thankful for Christian’s opportunities in the military. He loved flying and he loved his fellow soldiers. We have been so impressed by the “military family” and their love and support. But there’s a bigger reason for my thanks. In this environment, everyone knows what it means to be under orders. It’s not just a specific responsibility but being in a state of accountability. Because of his army life, Christian has learned in recent years what it means to be under orders, not just from his military superiors, but also under orders from his loving Lord. The joy and winsomeness that you have seen in him are due to the fact that Christian embraced His command heartily.

We have heard from lots of people: military both here and around the world, many rugby players, fellow students from schools that Christian has attended, extended family,and they all say that he was a person “who was comfortable in his own skin, that he was able to stand alone in a crowd while still loving people and enjoying the situation.”

Here’s why. Scripture is clear that God makes each of us uniquely and carefully according to His design. We are never complete and truly fruitful until we cooperate with that design, and we never know that design until we relate in humility and submission to the Lord of life. We are created by Him and for Him. Christian understood that, and his actions and commitments in life were all part of his commitment to being the man that God wanted him to be.

For some time now, since Christian has been assigned around the world, our times together have ended with a hearty, “See you later!” Sometimes “later” is months or more, sometimes just tomorrow morning, but we never say “Good-bye,” it’s always “See you later!” That is no different now. It’s just that Christian has left this life, so “See you later!” may take a little longer. Christian has been so many places around the world where I still have not been, and may never be. Now he’s gone ahead to one more new place but this time I know I will join him someday. We are convinced that for those who “believe in their heart and confess with their mouth that Jesus Christ is Lord,” this is our future. In fact, eternal life, the gift of God, is an abundant life that begins at the moment the soul awakens and acknowledges the Savior. Christian has shown us all a little taste of what it means to live abundantly!

We grieve because much of what we anticipated in this life can never happen. We grieve because there is a tremendous hole in so many lives where Christian lived. We grieve because we know that our path to the next “See you later!” may be longer and more difficult than any so far, BUT we do not grieve because we are without hope, or that we have lost him forever. God’s grace will be sufficient for this life, and God’s promise will carry believing hearts into great joy. Praise God for His manifold gifts to us that have come to us in and through Christian Skoglund.

To all of you, I want to say thank you for all that you have meant to Christian and to us…

and to Christian, I want to say – SEE YOU LATER!!

Packing Out

We finished packing out. The Italian moving men came in and quickly and efficiently packed up the house in Fontana Fredda, Italy. Liz's household goods were wrapped in bubble wrap, sealed into boxes, then stacked in crates to be sealed and put into storage. This, for the most part, went smoothly.

I should clarify, logistically the packing went smoothly. For the emotions it was rough and ragged. On Monday, before the packers came, we tried to help Liz decide what came quickly to the states and what should be stored long term. As the day wore on we all became increasingly sad and somber. Before bed I went down into Christian's room, really a room that acted as a closet and "man space." It smelled like him, it looked like him, it felt like he was going to walk through the beaded curtain any second. I couldn't help but think that to pack it all up would really feel like an end.

Here, in Italy, Christian and Liz had become "Christian & Liz!" They had been in a place where, in the beginning, they only had each other and the Lord. A solid foundation for a beautiful picture of what a godly marriage was intended to be. I didn't see them in the mundane, every day routine of life, but in the conversations and visits I saw my brother in a very good place. With Elizabeth and the Lord as number one in his life, Christian was the best version of himself I'd ever known. I thank the Lord that Elizabeth was my brother's wife and that she is my sister-in-law.

Packing up the house in Italy meant saying a little bit of goodbye. This place, where he was so happy, was bit by bit, piece by piece, being packed up and stowed away. I watched my mom do his last laundry and wept when I realized that would be the last time. I don't pretend to know the emotions of being a parent, but I do know that my parents loved Christian, and each of us, with an unfailing love. An unfailing love that has been a picture of the love of my Heavenly Father. Again, I rest in the Everlasting Arms that have proven themselves faithful again and again.

November 21, 2007

Being here in Italy for the last week and a half has been surreal. The flight here was so tough, there were so many tears and vacant stares that the people around us could only conclude that there had been some sort of death in our family. Even then though, we were grieving as people with a Hope. In the midst of uncontrollable tears my dad's voice could be heard reading the Psalms, in a low and comforting voice.

My sister-in-law's brothers landed just before us on Saturday November 10, and as soon as we saw them we were all very emotional, but it was so good that we were all here. For a week there was 11 of us all together which at times intensified the loss and at others it helped to lessen the pain. Our families have knit together in a new way because of this loss. Since meeting each other, our families have grown closer and closer, but in the face of this tragedy I feel as if the bond has been forged even stronger. We each knew Christian in a bit of a unique way and will each keep memories in different ways. It is good to remember and rejoice in the person that Christian was and now IS.

We have seen so much in the past week and a half. I saw my brothers body loaded, along with five others, into the back of a plane, draped with an American flag and treated with the utmost respect. I saw each one of the Skoglund and Nordberg families weeping in grief. I saw faces that were smiling with the memories of the man that Christian was. I saw hundreds of soldiers standing in a hangar because they too were grieving the loss of these men. I saw my sister-in-law singing "It is Well With My Soul" with her hand raised to the Lord. The emotions of the past two weeks have been up and down and back and forth, but I am confident that the Lord is bearing us all up and underneath are the Everlasting Arms.

November 20, 2007

Somehow, right now, it seems appropriate to start blogging again. Who knows if I wll write more than once, but I guess I need a place to say the things I am experiencing right now.

Almost two weeks ago my big brother was killed in a helicopter crash in Italy. He was the pilot of a Blackhawk helicopter and something went awfully wrong, although nobody knows exactly what happened yet. All those around him say that he was an excellent pilot, one who went exactly by the books. His first seargent said that he landed the helicopter in such a way to preserve as many lives as possible.

All that aside, I don't know how to fit this loss into my life. I have been sad before, I have had many losses in my life. There are no grandparents left, almost all of my grandparent's generation have died, but nothing...nothing like this. My brother was 31 years old and he was 6'4", 215 lbs. and seemingly indestructable. The possibility of him dying had never crossed my mind. I got a call on Novemeber 8 that there had been a crash, then the news that he was alive, but seriously injured, then the call that he had not survived.

But...the Lord is faithful. I HAVE to believe that, otherwise there can be no purpose to this. Somehow, somewhere, in some way the Lord's name will be glorified. Already I have seen evidence of the Lord at work in this community, on base and in the community. Everybody who knew Christian, or worked with him, or spent any time with him recognized that he was a man who was singleminded in his life. His purpse, that has been obvious as we pack his things and as we sat in his office, was to honor the Lord in all he did, whether that was to be a good commander/officer, husband, son, brother or friend.

The Joys of Being an Apple Owner

So...

I am the proud owner of an Apple iBook G4. She's a cute little thing, just turned three years old and still running like a champ. Now, I know that the new lines of Apple computers are sleeker, faster, and more powerful, but I still love my laptop. While I am still one of the biggest Apple cheerleaders around, my time with this current machine has been far from problem free. However, on the other side of a replaced logic board and a number of software issues, I am still a very big fan.

As a matter of fact, I would have to say that Apple provides some of the best customer service around. Because of a couple of early issues with the iBook, I purchased the AppleCare program. Just one week before my contract was going to run out, my optical drive suddenly stopped working...I mean really stopped working. It spit out a CD with part of the drive on it. I made a call, they recommended that I take the computer in to the Apple store, he made me an appointment for the next day, and I took the computer in.

Virtually no questions asked, they took the computer and within a week I have a brand new drive in it...a huge repair, 100% covered. Thank you Apple...I am loyal!

Change, change, change...will do me good.

True to the last blog post, this has been a week of CHANGE! Nothing bad, lots really good, and some just different. Knowing that change was soon coming my way, I contemplated and prepared and thought I had my emotions under control. Yet, just when I think that I am so smart to be ahead of the game, I realize that no matter how much one prepares for what is ahead the emotional upheaval will have some sort of effect on my life.

One of the things that I have always been thankful for is a sense of steadiness in my life. Since the transition I made from college to post-college life I've been the kind of girl that is not a roller coaster of feelings, I feel as if I take things in stride and even if there is a tough situation I can let things roll off my back. This is a gift straight from the Lord, and a testament to the love and support of my family, and I know it!

This weekend though, man alive, it was up and down, back and forth, but I think I really learned a lot in a very short amount of time, and to be able to see that learning while it was happening was a blessing. Moving to Milwaukee has been an exciting idea in my mind for over a year, and it still is, but at the same time it has rocked my sense of steadiness. As things are in flux, I feel as if I am standing on unsure ground.

As that last sentence came out of my fingertips, I am reminded that however unsure I am in my earthly life, I am not on unsteady ground! I rest in the love of my earthly parents and siblings, but I know that is just a dim shadow of the love that my Heavenly Father has for me! That Love is a Strong Tower, it is a Rock, it is a Shelter, it is a Mighty Fortress, it is Shelter, none of those things, none of them, are things of unsteadiness or insecurity. I am so thankful that the Lord is faithful to use things, even writing this blog, to teach me to be completely dependent upon him!

CHANGE!

What a time of change! There are less than two weeks left until moving day. I have so many thoughts that I almost don't know how to sort them out. I feel as if one big change is the catalyst for other changes, big and little, to happen in my life.

I think back to the year after I graduated from college. Talk about big change! I graduated in December 2002 and moved home leaving most of my friends with another semester to spend together. The changes I remember were traumatic at the time, maybe less so now as I reflect, but big ones in my oh-so-young life! There was the disappointment of a fizzled romantic relationship, the death of one grandmother and then the other, the marriage of a close friend and the engagement of a lifetime kindred spirit, the loss of a community of my immediate peers, the decision to go to grad school, the summer of few friends, and the list seems as if it could go on and on!

Woven in amongst all of these changes was the gentle prodding, which soon turned into a persistent chasing, of the Holy Spirit. I remember, after bouts of spiritual dryness, or during particularly sad times, how comforting I found the promises of Scripture to be. As I am in the midst of so many changes and gearing up for a host of others, I hope I can remember the way that there was sometimes sweet, sometimes fierce, and always persisitent guidance of the Holy Spirit in my life and recognize it here and now in the present.

Am I really a blogger?

I'm going to blame a busy schedule for my lack of recent posts, which is so lame. Everybody has a busy life and if writing the blog is important to me, I just need to carve out just a little niche of time to post.

So, is blogging important to me? Ummm, I think so, yes.

Why is blogging important to me? Now this is the question that begs an answer. I guess, as I've stated before, that I've come to enjoy writing more and more as I get a little bit older. Maybe I'm becoming more reflective and contemplative as well, but mostly I love reading blogs, and how presumtuous of me to expect to read other's blogs without contributuing something for them to read and have an opinion about.

Here goes another go around at the regular blogging...In the beginning I said that I was going to blog once a week, most preferably on Sunday afternoons with a cafe mocha (hot or iced, I'm not picky) sitting on the table next to me. I think that is an admirable goal and one that I will strive to keep. I will even post pictures very soon!

But now, what juicy or interesting little morsel of my life can I share with those who read the blog? I should do a quick rundown of life from the last couple of months...but that would take to much time. I'm just going to say, I'm very excited to be moving to the East Side with Bethany MacKay and Amy Brooks. June 1st is the move in day so if anybody is looking for something to do that weekend, I'm sure we could help with that:) I also love how much love and support I am getting from my mom and dad and brothers. I may be just a little biased, but I may come from the absolute best family on earth!

I need to write a whole blog on how wonderful my mother is (and I will), but to celebrate the amazing woman my mom is I just want to say HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

We got it!

You are reading the blog of a brand new East-sider! We got the apartment! Just thought I'd let people know that I am excited about it...does anyone have a couch?

Here's to Hoping

Last Sunday, April 15, 2007, we went out to find an apartment. We had our list of open houses in hand and we proceeded to map out our route. The first stop was the Embassy Building, 1914 Prospect, between Lafayette and Kane. This is our dream location, three blocks from Alterra Coffee on the lake, just a couple blocks from the other Alterra on Prospect, and four or five from Whole Foods. It felt like the East Side of Milwaukee, through and through!

The first impression was very promising. The lobby had character, that was one requirement for finding an apartment, it needed to have some personality. This was a step in the right direction. There were old brass fixings on the walls an the railings were polished brass as well, even the mail boxes seemed to have some class. Up one flight of stairs and into an apartment that smelled of paint, there were paint pans and drop cloths scattered throughout the place (yay for a fresh coat of paint).

The place was huge, the details were interesting and there were two, count 'em, two full bathrooms. Hardwood floors, built in shelving, lots of windows. Was it stupid to want the first place we looked at?! We went to the next place and it had many of the same qualities, just a bit shabbier (for a bigger price tag). I just couldn't get excited about it. As we sauntered back to the car the conversation was, should we just try for the first one?, should we keep looking?, what should we do?

The conclusion was that the Embassy building felt like it was the right one and so with a deep breath and a determined attitude we went back and asked to fill out a rental agreement! So, everyone who reads this; we want this apartment! It is ours, pending the reference checks and such. I can't think of any reason we wouldn't get it, but please pray that all goes well. I am SO excited

Haikus gone missing!

The haikus are on hiatus! I am burned out from those little seventeen syllable poems. Don't get me wrong I still love and appreciate the power of a well written haiku, but they have started to get mundane and formulaic. I have begun to notice a trend. Whenever I had a really good meal, play an interesting soccer game, or have a very busy, stressful day I end up writing the haiku of the day about it. I need brainstorms about topics to write about...if anyone has any ideas for me, I am more than open for suggestions.

Spring Break 2007

Its been a month since I blogged last! Eeeek! Well, maybe this is me turning over a new leaf, actually, I hope this is me turning over a new leaf.

I just got home from the best, most fun, spring break I've had in years. Ah, the beauty of being a teacher...I still get to celebrate that spring break thing that most people just get to remember with great longing.

Anyways, I'm exhausted from a day of travelling, but Bethany MacKay and I just got home from Italy mere hours ago. It was an amazing week of seeing my brother and sister-in-law, seeing the sights of Italy, and just relaxing. We saw Florence, Venice, Padua, Sacile, Nove, and the inside of the Frankfurt airport (which by the way still allows smoking inside!?!). Definitely more details very soon...even pictures when I get them on the computer.

Writing 101...Senior year?!?

When I started this online journal I made a loose promise to blog once a week, or so. There are many posts, nearly thirty, if I remember correctly. That probably averages out to nearly one a week. However, they have not come weekly as promised. For this, I am sorry.

The main purpose behind this blog was to keep my brother and sister-in-law apprised of the events happening in my life, as my bro always says, "Details, I want details!" This blog has turned out to be more of a chronicle of fun events and humorous circumstances than a weekly update on the details of my life. One thing that I have discovered in my time as a blogger is that I enjoy writing!

SHHHHH! Don't tell my Writing Effective Prose professor. I waited until my senior year of college to take that infernal, freshman level course. And then I only got a B. Writing was not a passion for me, but I felt as if I could put out a good paper. When this class began the prof proceeded to pick writing apart to the tiny, seemingly inconsequential details. I'm sure that I learned something, but after that class I always, ALWAYS, turned in papers with a question mark as to my paragraph lengths, word choices, citation style, never again did the confidence of my previous college experience back me up.

Ah well, I suppose learning a little bit from a good teacher can show you just how little you really know about a subject. Maybe, that is what I was suffering from there. Even still, I am glad to say that I have found fun, relaxation, deep thought, and even joy from the writing of these blog entries! If for nothing else than laughing at my own posts, this blog is a success in my eyes.

Thoughts on Cold

You wanted winter?!?! There you go.

The sub-zero temperatures have been a source of great distress to me. I mean, the foremost thoughts in my mind these days have been 'how many layers can I wear and still be able to move?' and 'is it really necessary to wear my coat INside in order to stay warm?'

We have this jacket that we affectionately call the Walking Sleeping Bag. My mom bought this coat in the early 1990's and it has been hanging around ever since. It seems to have extraordinary characteristics. For example, it fits anybody that puts it on. My brother Lars often puts this coat on if a quick run outside is necessary, and the sleeves are long enough and the front zips close with ease. All members of this household, past and present, have taken turns wearing this coat. All people who put on this coat end up looking the same size, about on par with the Michelin Man or the Marshmallow man from Ghostbusters. It also is full length and iridescent maroon. A color, I am certain, that they stopped producing in 1994.

The extreme cold weather has caused me to ruminate on the merits of this coat. I am thankful that the Walking Sleeping Bag hangs in our back closet. Last night, after I had been asleep for over an hour, my brother knocked on my door to tell me that my car was parked on the wrong side of the street. I have no doubt that his intentions were noble and even that he would have moved the car if he had been able (alas, Hans has a manual transmission and Erik, while wonderful in many ways, is unable to maneuver the stick shift car).

I was ready to tempt fate, try my chances of getting a parking ticket and just stay in bed, all warm under my down comforter and 'mink.' Although, seeing I was awake, shouldn't I just save the possible $15 parking ticket and move the dumb car? It was just torture, thinking that I would have to brave the arctic chill just to move the car. But then, hope sprang eternal! I had the Walking Sleeping Bag to save the night! To the closet I sped, I threw on said coat, tied the cute little bow fasteners on the front and slipped my feet into shearling boots. Out I went, running down the driveway, swiping clear the windshield with a purple clad arm, into the car, through a treacherous u-turn, into a parking spot on the opposite side of the street, out of the car, up the driveway, into the house, out of the coat and boots, and back into a still warm bed. Not a goosebump to be seen. Ah, the wonder of it all!

I do not love the cold weather, but without it the Walking Sleeping Bag would never have existed. How I love the Walking Sleeping Bag!

Guac-Off

So, the rumor on the street is that there is going to be a guacamole contest, otherwise known as a Guac-Off. My friend Dan Haydn and I are both big guacamole fans and we've both been known to make a mean batch of the green goodness. So, over burritos at Beans and Barley the idea to have a hang-out night with two kinds of guacamole was tossed around. Just days later, as we sat at Oscar's after Impact, a contest was mentioned. I, being the competitive spirit that I am, jumped right in on that idea.

This week, as told by one Ryan Leavitt, avacados are buy-one-get-one-free at your friendly neighborhood Jewel. If this is the case, what better time to have a Guac-Off? I can see it now...a new annual, or even bi-annual event. Guacamole makers and lovers far and wide will be flocking to the suburbs of Milwaukee just to be a part of this wondrous contest. What started as two 20-somethings having a friendly competition just may turn into a new phenomenon.

I am, however, a little nervous. What if people don't like my guacamole? What if it is terrible? What if I get a bad batch of avacados? What if I've been bragging about something that actually doesn't taste any good? This really could be a humbling experience...how does it go? Ah yes, pride cometh before the fall. Oh well, all in good fun, all in good fun. Get ready for some guac-a-mo-le!

And here are the contestants:

Yeah, Soccer!

I love playing soccer! Now, I have no illusions about my actual ball handling skills (they are not spectacular), but I think I can hold my own on defense. I played a ton of soccer in high school. I was on a club team for fall and summer outdoor, winter indoors and then spring was the high school season. Our club team had some really great players, but I think that our coach taught us to play a little rough. You know, throw a hip or shoulder and then be the one to fall and get the call for your team. He never actually said to do these things, but most of the girls I played with ended up being physical players.

Since high school I played a bunch of co-ed intermurals in college and have been on a few co-ed adult rec teams and those are a bunch of fun. Sometimes a little limited on how many touches on ball you get, but a great work-out nonetheless. But, this fall my cousins got the itch to play and they set up a women's indoor team and I am having SO MUCH FUN! Why is it that I get such a rush out of being hip checked into the walls, and in the process taking out a girl and then watching as she gets a penalty for the play? What does this mean? On the way home from games we replay every rough play of the game and almost brag about what is going to be sore the next day and who is going to have the biggest bruises. Plus, It is almost a little bit of glory to have black and blue marks, on their way to turning greenish-yellow, left over from the week before.

All this conversation interspersed with talk of the cute jacket that we saw at Banana Republic, who is getting their hair cut, or when a new episode of Lost is finally going to be aired. After all, we are still a little bit girly!

The Place of Scripture

This is just a little piece of a prayer that I prayed in the summer of 2006. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, I found use for it again, just recently.

"Lord, Before I even open my Bible I must confess, I am coming from a very dry spiritual time. Not so evident to those around me, but the dryness of my heart has been chaffing against the persistent prodding of the Holy Spirit. "

I was thinking about why I fall into the pattern of neglecting the study of Scripture so easily and I came up with a theory. My best and most affective times of study, in any area of life, are when I have a purpose behind my study. So, I choose to have a purpose.

My purpose will be, and is, to study Scripture in order to show myself the wonders and the riches of the promises of God to his people and then to let those promises seep into my life and out of my thoughts, words, and actions. My purpose to to be transformed into the person that God desires for me to be. I desire nothing more than to be a woman of God. Scripture is where I belong.

Christmas Break ~ Family, Friends, and Fun

Merry Christmas!
Amy, Maja, and Alissa at Christmas Eve dinner at the Black's

Captions from Top to Bottom:

Our friend, Philip Springmann, from growing up went shopping at the Gap. Alissa was working and invited him to our "Day After Christmas Bash."

This was the "family pic" on Christmas night. After a whole day of relaxing with my parents and brothers some friends, Beth, Kira, and Dave, came down to Racine to catch the movie, Pursuit of Happyness.

Part of the SNAP reunited! Mark was just back from Malaysia and in town for a little while so we got brunch at The Original Pancake House. Yum!

This was the group for New Year's Eve. Beth, Jon, Hannah, James, Liz, Noelle, Drew, Dan, and Maja! Happy 2007!